The Weekend

I'd like to bring up something that bothers me every month. PMS. Since I have been writing and taking time to pull my thoughts together on paper. I have noticed a pattern. Just about two weeks or 12-14 days out of every month I struggle with the same patterns of anxiety, frustration, and anger. I notice that the little things that do not usually bother me, like spilled milk and pee on the bathroom floor, become huge events that send me into a tail spin. I am not blaming the symptoms on PMS nor am I making excuses for my outrageous behavior. I am simply making a link to a pattern that I have noticed. I have to believe that there is a reason for going through these cycles and becoming overloaded at times. I would like the answers to many of the questions that remain on the front of my brain. Are these cycles of peace, fear, and rage, at the same intervals each month, asking me to go within and come up with the answers myself? Maybe. I feel that we go through these hormonal shifts for a much higher reason. One of my questions is how can I harness and use this energy to propel me to another level of awareness and womanly divinity? I know that the next 14 days starting on Saturday will be easier and more manageable. It is the 14 days that comes after when PMS begins that I worry. It is during these times that I am uptight and completely besides myself. My rage and patience tips and I very easily become out of control. On the other hand, when it all comes down and menstruation has ceased I come back to myself with a new sense of awareness that takes me to another level of higher reason, love, peace, and honesty. I begin to know and understand myself even better that before. So I contemplate the idea that I NEED these cycles. I NEED to feel them and go through them with a new sense of honesty and awareness each time they happen and learn something else about me and my family each time. Because each time I go through them I learn something new and meaningful. And once I learn something new I can go back and try something new to help the situation for when it happens again. Everything has change and everything can be created to how or what you like it is just more difficult when you have a clouded state of mind. When the clouds pass I can look back and clearly see what I can do differently for the next time.

Some ideas for the next cycle:
1. I can pay attention to diet recommendations for women and PMS.
2. Include supplements in my diet to help with the hormonal shifts.
3. Keep a log of my emotional changes and eating habits especially as I get closer to the 12-14 days where I have the most trouble.
4. I can plan to surround myself with support like using babysitters more frequently during those weeks, going out and having more alone time with my husband, spending time to relax and meditate more, get together with friends for play dates or for dinner, and plan kids activities so that we are out doing things with other people more frequently.
5. Surround myself with inspirational quotes in my house, listening to peaceful music through out my days, and lighting candles.
6. Spend extra time planning ahead the weeks prior two PMS so that I know I have the support and reminders I need to get through my days peacefully and supported.

So know that I am open to all of these new ideas I think it is very important for me to start looking into these things NOW so that when I come around into another"dark night of the soul" I can pull upon all of these resources. Having resources is key. I need to be able to have a safe place where I can call on someone or something to help me get through the darker sides of my life until I can get back into the inspirational parts again. The first step is planning ahead to figure out what you can do to make this work and as you try new things you start making a resource file on what does and does not work so that eventually you build a support system for that time of the month. Therefore you can pull out what you need whenever you need it. This takes the willingness to get to know yourself and the time to try out different strategies. It takes going within to find out exactly what is right for you because we are all unique on what we need. These past two weeks of PMS have taken me to a new and deeper level of awareness. I am thankful for this. In knowing who I am at a deeper and deeper level, this new knowledge I have is taking me to a new level of awareness, power, and peace. Knowledge is power and harnessing and using the knowledge to promote peace from within promotes a powerful force of love that can heal anything. This is the honorable and true meaning of a woman's cycle. It is a calling and an honor to go within and know who you are on all levels. The more I understand and know me, the deeper I go, the more I realize I can do anything. It is a powerful peace and a peaceful power to know yourself completely.