Letting Go & Living Life

Not only am I an Occupational Therapist but I am a mother to three wonderful children. My children are 8, 6, and 3 years old. They all just had birthdays the past couple of months; February, March, April. My oldest son, Ethan, was born with a condition known as Spina Bifida. Certainly, he picked the right mom to be born to because I was an Occupational Therapist for years before I had children. But anyway, parenting my oldest son has been an incredible journey; to say the least. Parenting is an incredible journey with any child but when you have a child with special needs it throws in a unique flavor to the mix. When Ethan was born I thought I knew what I was in for as a parent. After all, most of my clients had been children and working with children felt natural for me. So, how hard could parenting be? Well, let’s just say that I had more to learn than I could have ever imagined! So, you may be wondering, what have I learned? Well, one of the most important lessons that have come to me recently is the importance of living life and letting go. Letting go? How can one let go as a parent? That seems almost impossible in life and especially when you have the most important job of raising children. Well, let me expand on this a little. I have learned that children, all children, bring unique lessons into our life. If we are open and willing to learn then the process can be unmistakably rewarding. Or, if we are not ready to learn our lessons and we go into parenting thinking we know it all then we tend to learn our lessons the hard way, through heartache and regret. Parenting is a process no matter what. Whether you have a child with special needs or you don’t. Whether you are Christian, Buddhist, Chinese, Japanese, black, white, yellow, or pink. We all have lessons to learn. Our purpose as parents is as much about teaching as it is about listening, learning, and letting go. Part of the process is our choices we have to make every day. We need to ask ourselves, do the choices we make align with what we want for ourselves and our children in life? Do we know what we want in life? If not, there is a great little book out there called “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Don Miguel Ruiz. It has four simple ways to live your life every day and goes through the idea that we have a choice in every moment to live this way or not to. It is up to us. Living in the moment and making these choices is a part of the process. This is the part where we get to make the choices to consciously parent and teach. Then here comes the fun part, the part where we have to learn that we can’t control everything and that we have to let go, sit back and enjoy the ride. I can’t control my 8 year olds tantrums at school because he is tired and he wants to go home. I can’t control my 3 year old who insists on coloring on the table at Starbucks instead of the coloring book in front of her. Lastly, I can’t control my 6 year olds furry over his broken slinky that he took to school when mommy warned him that taking toys to school is not always a good idea. These are daily lessons meant for them and for me. I have the opportunity to practice my beliefs and to teach about how to handle each situation and they have the opportunity to teach me about myself and how I respond to each of their behaviors. Oh yes, I understand that it is not always that simple. Believe me, I know. When all three kids are yelling, “Mommy, mommy, mommy….I need this, I want that, he took my crayon, he hurt me!”, I find myself wanting to run the other direction. On the other hand, we should look at these moments as opportunities to let go and to learn. Every moment is an opportunity to learn something about myself, something about my children, and something about the art of letting go and trusting that everything has a purpose and a reason to always work out. How could it not? When we learn to let go we learn a very powerful lesson…we cannot control the world but we can control our thoughts in this world and our reactions to what is going on in every moment. This summer, when the kids are off of school and we have so much more time to spend together I challenge you to stay present and in the moment with your children and learn to let go and let be. I bet that with this new awareness you might start to see that not having control over everything in your life and your child’s life is not so important. It allows us to be, to have joy and to just live our lives the way we were supposed to; with freedom!