The man I married is a mirror for many parts of me that are resolved and unresolved. There are parts where I can be safely with him knowing that together we are just being who we are. Then there are parts that I see that I have not resolved in myself. These are issues that I have not faced in myself and that I am not yet ready to uncover. When I see these parts in him that emerge that trigger anger in me I head the other direction; fleeing for my life. The old survival instincts come out and I stand up to either defend or retreat. Sometimes I am ready to face the fears and then other times I just want to let it go. Relationships are opportunities to grow and find out who we truly are in ourselves and safely with another being. They never need to be hard or difficult if we can recognize that we come together to raise each other’s vibration not to meet a need that was never met in our ‘growing up’.
After all, we are creators that have the power to manifest our futures in any way we desire. Of course, there is an ultimate creator that sees that the ultimate plan is ultimately carried out. We are all, what I like to call, ‘mini’ creators as well. I created the need for a man such as my husband at the time that we married and now I am letting go of many parts that I asked for. These are the parts that are no longer necessary in my life. There is nothing bad about this, it is only a shift in reality and a lifting of the illusions we created for ourselves. At the time of our marriage I needed someone to save me and take care of me like I had never been taken care of before. This part of me has finally rested and transformed. A new power has emerged and this is part of the shifting that is occurring. The powers are moving and balancing. They are shifting to a more distributed calling that involves seeing each other as divine balanced beings that do not ‘need’ each other but allow each other to thrive and grow. These being support each other along their individual paths and recognize that something that may trigger their insides is really just an opportunity. They are opportunities to look at our individual selves more deeply, process why we are being triggered, and finally integrate our realizations into our own being. A relationship like this is filled with understanding and knowing that when the other person is reacting it is an opportunity to simply witness and allow for a response that will help each other grow consciously together. There is a respect for each other’s path and then a union where we support and celebrate our individual growth together along the way. It is not that I need you or that you need me. What we need is to recognize how individually powerful we are and that our union is to support our growth. We are here to respect all parts of ourselves wherever we may fall in our progressions. We have ideas and we share as divine friends. We have desires and we share our attractions. The opportunity is limitless in what a union of male and female can do together when they recognize that they support one another and allow this to happen.
They are not together out of ‘need’ anymore. These are the old ways of thinking that are quickly moving away. Even if you do not believe that your marriage (or past relationship) was based out of ‘need’ I am going to encourage you to take a long hard look before you decide. I’m sure there was an attraction that brought you together. Desires that you had that the other person met. Seemingly endless joy came to you when you were together and then you could not wait to feel those feelings again when you were apart. My question is, “Shouldn’t two people feel just as good about themselves individually when they are apart as they do when they are together?” I believe there is something inside a being that still needs to be looked at when he/she decides that those needs are only met when someone else enters their life. The line, “You complete me” just is not what it is about. There is nothing that another being can give you that will complete you. You must complete you. You must do the work to be the divine being that you are. To uncover the layers that reside and find the jewel that was hidden over the years. I must be the jewel in the moment. In recognizing that I am everything that I have been looking for I do not go out seeking it from another and then become disappointed when they do not live up to my expectations. Another being can never provide my completeness. This is between me and the universe. Expecting expectations from someone else only leads to disappointment, fear, anger, and anxiety. Let me be clear here…I am not saying that we should all depend on ourselves and live a life of personal independence from each other. No, this is not ‘it’ at all. We all have individual wants and needs that are all based on interacting and coming together with others in order to clearly communicate our needs and then find out if the party can reciprocate what we are looking for with open and genuine communication. What happens in ‘unions’ is that we usually have unresolved, unspoken, unaware emotional issues from our past that we are unknowingly seeking to be resolved through the other person. When the other person does not meet our unaware expectations then we set ourselves up for disappointment unknowingly that we are doing this. Then we wonder why we are so unhappy and wonder why we are with this person? At the time we came together we unconsciously thought that the other person could meet our needs. When if we had two balanced and aware beings come together in union knowing exactly what their purpose is for their union they would have a whole other level of relationship we have yet to be exposed to in every day society.
These people know who they are and have resolved to keep growing and developing their inner truths without codependence. They are together based on no other need but the need to support and help each other grow without attachment. These couples are free of the struggles that we see regularly joked about on TV sitcoms. Simply, they know that disagreements are conscious opportunities for growth. There is no need to argue and dismiss one another because they know that a resolution that satisfies both parties will always arise. This is the new relationship and the limitless possibility that I am moving into in my own life and my own relationship. It is inevitable that with all the releasing of emotional issues, purging of ideas and things that don’t ‘fit’ anymore that my relationships are shifting and moving to a much higher level of love, compassion, passion, and peace. When our inner lights can shine brightly and we are individually and collectively at peace with who we are then our matching partners and relationships will show up to meet us exactly where we are and where we envision our self in the future. Relationships based on conscious awareness are the most incredible, most powerful, most illuminating and loving of all.
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